Friday, 12 January 2018

how can we manifest our dreams?

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the New Year Resolution quandary

At the start of every year, most of us are busy making or deciding, on our New Year's resolutions. Often they don't get followed through, and sometimes they don't manifest at all.

how do we make them happen?

So, what can we do to have our wants, dreams, goals, aspirations, manifest?

step one:

The first thing is to write them down. Apparently, when we write something down, it is more likely to be fulfilled. I can attest to that. I have often found lists that I had made in previous years, and been totally surprised that in some way or another, the goals that I had listed, did indeed happen, even if it was not in that year, and often they happened differently to how I thought things would work out.

extra options:

You can do other things too, according to what suits you: you can journal your path to that goal, you can have a vision board, you can visualize the outcome of that goal or dream. You can make lists where you tick things off. Another blogger likes Excel and uses that to mark off her daily & weekly goal tasks.

second step:

The second most important thing is - don't confine yourself too much to how you think the achieved goal, dream, will be once it happens. It can be better and bigger than what you had thought it could be, and it may even morph into a different , more beneficial direction, which is very common.

but that's not all......

But on the other hand, we do need some idea of the achievement, to drive us forward to reaching it. A paradox, to be sure. Why do we need these ideas? Well, perhaps if we look at the emotions involved with achieving our dream, rather than ideas. Why, because we are feeling creatures, our emotions are so tied up with our life, from the joys to the deep despair. This is how we are. And it is also emotions which can either propel us to our destination, or completely halt what we are trying to do.

a lovely secret:

We do need to have an idea of the sort of emotions that we would need to get something done, and how we would feel when we have achieved it. A most useful, and lovely, emotion is excitement. Like a happy, dynamic tingle which goes through every part of us, creating a momentum towards the outcome. So, what can we do to create this excitement? Sometimes just thinking about what we are after, will create that excitement. Sometimes we do have to work at creating it and building it up by repeatedly bringing the completion or achievement of the goal to mind, along with the sensation of excitement.

We all have had times of excitement whilst going to do something, or waiting for something. Remember the excitement of being very young and waiting for Santa to come? How excited you were before your birthday party? The happiness and excitement of looking forward to being with a partner whom you are in love with? Yes, excitement is within us all, just a-waiting for a chance to express itself.

Why is it important to be excited about the (future) achievement of our dreams? There is a very special reason. The Heart Math Institute In the USA has studied and tracked people for decades, to find out what creates emotional intelligence, known as E.Q. (emotional quotient), and also the traits of those who are emotionally intelligent. It seems those those who have a high E.Q. have happier lives.

Why? E.Q. is about understanding, and utilizing our emotions, in our life. In other words, knowing oneself by knowing our emotions, and being able to motivate oneself via emotions. Being able to relate to others' emotions is important too. So, it is different from I.Q. which means Intelligence Quotient and which is about how we learn, understand, and apply information in various settings.

How can we get or increase E.Q? It can be developed and built upon. I honestly feel that life helps us to be more caring, but there are other ways, too.

how to do the lovely secret:

It can be created in childhood, by encouraging a child to wait for something, and be okay about it. Have you seen a child wait for something that they want to have? Like a bicycle for their birthday, or a trip to a place where there are exciting and scary rides. They get excited, jump, hop, dance, and just generally be happy. But if we just give everything to our children, without helping them learn how to wait for something, we are stunting their E.Q. We are taking away a chance to be happier. This does not apply to putting an icecream in front of a child and not letting them touch it, though!

It's also training for not relying on instant gratification for our happiness.

It is the same for us. We can learn happy anticipation, we can develop excitement as we wait for and work towards something. These emotions are like fuel which propels us forwards. It is impossible to sit still and not do something when these emotions are running through our being.

So, our dreams, our goals - how would you feel being excited about them happening?

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Saturday, 6 January 2018

2018 and choices

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I have decided to have choices, not resolutions, for 2018. Why?

I always have the future in mind. As opposed to living in the future, I might add. No, I always know what direction that I want to take for the following year, as one year draws to a close. I don't always achieve what I set out to do. I've realised that no one is an island. We don't just decide this, that, and the other, and get it all done, with no interference, no hiccups, nothing to create ripples in our life. Quite the contrary. Sometimes almost everything can go wrong. And this happens in life.

Sometimes it's oneself. Sickness, having to earn extra money for the family, not being disciplined enough: honestly, there are a myriad of unforeseen things that can halt our progress. Sometimes things happen with family and friends whereby what we want to do - it's not as important as what is going on around us.

My choice, in these instances, is just to wait until things are okay, or better. Until the stars align to enable getting moving with one's plans and dreams.

I have had such a year. And now, as a new year is arising, I'm ready to resume my plans of choice. I used the difficult times to make background plans for the direction of 2018. And that, too, was a choice. Handle whatever.... but make a choice to hold onto the dream, the direction in which you want to go.

Sometimes it can take me ages to sort out what direction to go in, particularly with work. I find making the choices of all that one can do, difficult. I always joke that it's because I am a double Libran. Libra sun, Libra moon ( moon sign rules our emotions). Libra is the sign that (apparently) finds decision making hard. But I only find decisions hard when they are not important. Why is this so?

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When you find the right decision, the right choice - it's All Systems A Go! You just know when you find it, because it resonates with one's beliefs, one's values. And these are the important choices. I think that's why they are so easy to make, because we are dealing with issues that are close to our heart.

Our heart cannot lie. Different parts of our mind can "lie" as in rationalising, or justifying, or wanting. But our heart is closely allied to our values, and I do feel that this is because our values, when they are in line with our heart, our values they marry with our conscience. Although our gut feelings can also "tell" us when something is right or wrong, when we are close to our inner self - we find it hard to go against our values.

I teach deep spirituality, via Yoga. I'm always being asked to teach more classes. A couple of years ago, I made a choice not to do that, because in my heart, I knew that it wasn't "what I am about". I felt that it was like always suggesting to an engineer that they fix dripping taps for a living, instead of doing engineering. So, rather than take more yoga classes, I prefer to teach seminars, because they are a better vehicle for teaching deep spirituality.

It was a big step, stopping teaching lots of classes, because it was my livelihood. But my choice, following my heart, was to downsize, and let the Inner Me shine forth. I have not regretted this decision. Another direction came clear straight after that choice. As though it was just waiting for a space to manifest in. And the new direction was even closer to my values.

And our values, they too define "what we are about". When we know our values, what we ideally can and can't live with, then it becomes easier to make choices. And when we are firmly established in our values, we are happier, stronger. Our choices then become easier to make.

So, for me, 2018, is about choices in line with my values.

Thursday, 21 December 2017

Christmas Countdown: the feeding of Santa's helpers

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This is such an important part of Christmas.

It deserves the utmost care.

Have you thought of those who need watering and feeding Christmas Eve, and very early Christmas morning?

Yes, that's right, I'm talking about: Rudolph, Dancer, Prancer, and co. Busy work pulling that heavy sleigh through the skies, through hours on end, through different time zones. Not to mention all that careful landing and taking off, all through those hours. And having to be quiet about it so as not to wake anyone.

True Reindeer Story:

When my 2 eldest children were young, we had a concrete verandah outside the front door, and we lived on a large section, so there was lots of space.

By the way, at the back of our property, there were very large paddocks with horses roaming in them.

But, I digress. Each Christmas Eve was the solemn occasion of my two young children and their father collecting long grass, from the above mentioned paddock - they just whipped over the fence to get it. Putting it on the verandah and probably some water too. For Rudolph and his mates.

And, would you believe, every Christmas morning we would go outside and Oh, my gosh! Most of the grass would be eaten, and.... those darn reindeer, they always did poos on our verandah. Children's father would get extremely cross and rant and rave, then have to clear it up.

I kid you not. Every year.  It was an amazing thing to happen, those reindeer choosing us.

Tuesday, 19 December 2017

Staying calm in the Christmas Season

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This is certainly the time of year when tempers fray, and we become intolerant. Whereas, in reality, it could be a time of good cheer.

It is a time when partnerships, such as marriage, family, and friendships can undergo immense pressure. And it is not pleasant to be on the receiving end of it.

How can we ensure that we do not turn snappy, and create problems? I often remember a catchphrase that has been repeated innumerable times over the decades, from World War 2. It was apparently on a safety poster:

                                           "Keep calm and carry on"

This advice was given to the British in a time when food was very scarce, children were being sent into the countryside to live with strangers for their own safety, men were fighting in a war, and the country was being bombed relentlessly.

That people did this under those severe conditions, is inspiring. I think that it is lovely to follow the advice from those times. It is a more gracious and kinder way of living. And makes everyone's Christmas much nicer.

 And finally........ the last word on coping with Christmas pressure:

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Monday, 18 December 2017

Christmas Carols Down Under

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Recently I was at the local (small) mall, and a group of Gospel singers started singing Christmas carols and such, in a really Gospel way, Polynesian style, which is extremely melodic and upbeat, but less "dramatic" than, say, American Gospel singers. 

Interdenominational, so it's open to all to join. All dressed in black, which, by the way, is sort of our National colour. (All Blacks, anyone?) I know that to those from the Northern climes, that wearing black in the summer heat, does seem a bit strange. But that's us. 

I loved the singing. And I also loved that a teenage girl did Samoan dancing for one of the songs. So lovely. Plus the boy aged about 7 or 8, who sang a solo. 

In Auckland we have a famous choir who sing each Christmas at a big Cathedral in Parnell. I've been once, and loved that too. And a small church in a small town called Huntly to join in Christmas carols, many moons ago. Plus.... a lovely church in the Inner City part of Auckland..again, many, many moons ago on Christmas Eve. 

I imagine that in the colder countries, Carolers are merrily caroling. And we do have groups here who do too, but it usually involves us going somewhere to listen, or join in.

But... school and University are finished for the years... and it's Christmas get together time... but mostly... we are at the beach.  

Sunday, 17 December 2017

Christmas celebrations and tipples

A more sombre/sober look at the Christmas season

I have never, ever been to a work Christmas "do" (kiwi parlance for a party), where alcohol flowed freely. For that, I am truly grateful, as I don't drink alcohol. But what if you would like a little tipple, but not a big one? I saw a friend at a party who carried around her half-glass of wine, with a strawberry floating in it. When I asked her about it, she laughed and said how she had just had a small amount of wine, then quietly kept topping it up with water.  Great hint! I suppose that someone like me could just have lemonade with a lovely strawberry in it, and then keep topping up with water.....

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Things have changed, here in the good ole En of Zed (n.z. = New Zealand). In my childhood it did seem as though alcohol consumption, mainly in the form of beer, was a national sport. How sad it must have been for the mums over Christmas (and the rest of the year....). Dealing with Dad's who had hangovers - and we all know how pleasant that can make some people! And dealing too with the lack of money that came from someone in the family's heavy drinking.

Nowadays, people drink far less alcohol, a bit of wine, or a couple of beers, or usually no alcohol, at family gatherings. SO much nicer for everyone, especially the children. I expect that we shall be having coconut water, maybe some sparkly in the form of appletize or grapetize, and these are both non-alcoholic. And water crammed with herbs like mint, vegetables like cucumber, and summer fruit. (of course, this is me again doing my Christmas wish thing) All cold, because it's summer here. And maybe a small tipple of wine or a few cold beers.

I go to many occasions where there is absolutely no alcohol. And with immediate family - we usually don't even think of having any booze-type drinks. We all enjoy ourselves at get-togethers.

And, whatever you choose to quench your thirst over this season - I hope that you too enjoy yourselves.

p.s. I have actually been a bit, you know, concerned, about Santa when he is Doing His Santa Thing whilst Down Under (New Zealand and Australia). Apparently he often gets left some wine or a beer.
What does he do with it all? Does he tip it into the pot plants? Throw it out the window? Give it to the dog? Or (gasp!) quaff it all?

Worrying to be sure.

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Friday, 15 December 2017

Countdown to Christmas: being organised

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A light-hearted look at the Christmas season

How can one possibly be organised in the pre-Christmas season? Is one ever? As I sit here writing I realise how social I've been, having wee Christmas catch-ups here, there, and everywhere,.... and I suddenly realise that I haven't done any present shopping.


Panic! I did however decide to clear out some belongings and so I got stuck into emptying out my storage shed. Is that organised, or what? And, does it actually have anything to do with Christmas? (No, it doesn't)

How do people do it? You know, those amazing people who buy lots of thoughtful presents, socialise, make a Christmas steamed pudding and Christmas cake ahead of time, and on the day they cook a massive meal in the sweltering heat? With home-made pavlova, of course (I am just fantasising here that everyone has what I would like to have).  And look good and be calm and reasonable whilst they do it all.

Who are these people? Well, they are women, obviously. And they are not me. I am amazed how unorganised one can be when one has more time in which to actually be organised. I was always more organised when I had very little time, being a working mum. Maybe because I knew how important Christmas was to my children.

But I have never, ever, made a Christmas pudding, Christmas cake, pavlova nor trifle. I am not a great cook so I always felt that it was more important for the good cooks to showcase their talents. I have children and grandchildren who are phenomenal cooks, so I'm really happy to sit back, praise, and be grateful for their efforts.  Three sneaky methods that us non-cooks have down pat. Especially at Christmas.

how can we manifest our dreams?

                               the New Year Resolution quandary At the start of every year, most of us are busy making or deciding, on o...